In-law; in-love

 

When Dan and I first got married, his mom made it a point that they weren’t my in-laws; they are my parents-in-love. I really like this description. While we are connected by law, our true connection is rooted in love.

When Dan and I were dating, it was his family that sealed the deal. I knew that I liked Dan. Then, I met his family…and I was in love. Meeting them and befriending them seemed to be the most natural thing in the world. I just felt…home.

Our first trip to Michigan was very telling. We spent a week with his family, meeting the extended family, and seeing the ‘real’ Dan. In my opinion, family is the true test. In Ames, few people really knew Dan; I wanted to see how the people who really knew this guy felt about him. It was apparent that these people really love Dan. …and not only did they love him, they value and respect him.

…and out of love and respect for Dan, they welcomed me like I was family. In fact, from they way that ALL of them (Kieslings, Rileys – everybody) welcomed me, l could tell that Dan was special to them. I also knew that they were special people, to be so warm and welcoming. In one week, I felt like I was part of the family. As we turned off of Britton Road and onto the highway, I started crying. I loved these people – and I didn’t want to be so far from people who were so good, kind, and loving.

Given that today is Father’s Day, I wanted to write a post dedicated to Dan’s side of the family, my “in-loves.” Let’s face it; given that we just moved, I cannot find all those Father’s day cards I bought in advance. So, blog dedications are about as close as people are getting to an actual gift. I have spoken collectively about the Kieslings/Rileys, now I will speak to Dean.

I remember when Dan told me that his Dad was an Extension agent, I was sure that we would be kindred spirits. Dean is a true provider; generous; caring; self-sacrificing. He is adamant about not interfering with his kids’ decisions and lives. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have an opinion – but he refuses to impose his opinion, and will only share if asked.

This quality is one that Dan also possesses. There are times that Dan has frustrated me in his refusal to tell me what to do. I hate making life decisions; I just want someone to tell me so that I can do it. Dan has encouraged me to make decisions and stand by them, while refusing to tell me what to do. It’s really the most loving thing he could do – by helping me ‘own’ my life, by making decisions. He learned this from his dad; I am thankful to you both.

Thank you, Dean, for loving your family more than yourself. Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for being welcoming, kind, and generous.

May you be blessed this Father’s Day!

J = Jessie

This is just a fun post.

Last night, a group of friends and I headed out to support the Rotaract Club of Tucson in their fundraise for Ben's Bells. They held a "pub trivia": Disney style competition. The competition was held at the restaurant/pub that my friends and I frequent, and my former preceptor helped arrange the night. Translation: I couldn't NOT go!

As part of the evening, a person could dress up as a Disney character. One of my friends initially suggested that each of us dress up as a Disney princess...this didn't get much traction. A couple days ago, I decided to repurpose my shirt from my Halloween costume, Dan's hat, and my boots and go as Jessie from Toy Story.

Howdy folks!

I would never do this in real life, but for the sake of authenticity, I had to tuck! :)

I thought the "dress up" portion was only for fun. Then, I was informed that I had to pay $5 to enter the competition. Um...ok? Whatever, it's for a good cause!

During the 'competition' - those of us who chose to dress up had to introduce ourselves, our character - and then the audience voted on who was best based on the volume of cheers. The winner? The only guy (of course) who dressed up in a store-bought costume of the Beast. 2nd place? The Evil Queen - also in a store-bought costume. I think Evil Queen and I had about the same amount of cheers, to be honest. I'm sure that she threatened the judges with an evil spell to ensure the win.

I didn't dress up for the competition - or to win - but, just because I could get some more mileage out of that AWESOME shirt! I was really humbled by the amount of cheers for me, though. I thought my only support would be from my table of friends - and it wasn't. So, that's a win in my book.

N: Novenas…more than you ask or imagine

 

Not sure what a Novena is? Neither was I before becoming Catholic. A novena is a devotion consisting of prayers (or services) for nine consecutive days. You can pray novenas asking for the intercession from particular saints; you can pray novenas to get you spiritually prepared for a ‘feast day’ in the Church. As you pray for each day, you should have a specific intention in mind.

I mentioned in the post earlier (M: Marriage….) that in the middle of May, I was participating in the Novena to the Holy Spirit, when God really started convicting me about my lack of belief. In fact, I was suffering so much from lack of belief that I didn’t have an intention in mind for the Novena because I wasn’t convinced that God would answer (or care).

This past Thursday, I concluded a Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. (This is a really Catholic post.)   This is a particularly long novena; with an opportunity to focus on (at least) 3 different intentions throughout the prayer. As part of my new commitment to daily, early morning fellowship with Christ, I also want to be much more intentional and purposeful in praying for others – especially Dan.

Dan plans to pursue his PhD through the U of A (one of the big reasons we decided to buy a house). I had very specific intentions that I was praying for Dan’s acceptance. On Tuesday, Day 7 of the Novena, Dan received a call from a senior faculty member inviting him to serve as a Livestock Consultant on an international project in Qatar.

As soon as Dan told me about this project, I could recognize that this opportunity was truly a gift from God. It was an amazing answer to my prayer – and a far better (and BIGGER) answer than I was even asking for. It is incredibly humbling – an immense blessing, and such motivation to me, to continue to be on my knees for my husband. It’s really great to be able to share in his blessing…when he is blessed, so am I. (Isn’t that a change in my heart?!)

So – I decided to pray another novena while he is gone to St. Isidore. If you would like to pray with me, the details are here: St. Isidore Novena.

If you are interested in praying novenas, I am part of this group: Praying More Novenas. It is headed by a husband and wife who simply wanted to grow in the discipline of praying novenas. Every month (or so), they choose a novena. During the novena, they send an email with the prayer for each day. It’s a great way to actually complete the novena.

M–Marriage, Martyrs and Me

 

You know, one thing that most people are unaware of – or are told repeatedly before entering – is that marriage is hard. …In the last blog, I established that in general, I try to avoid “HARD” as much as possible. So, if I hate “hardness” – why get married? There are others who, to avoid saying marriage is just plain ol’ hard – will instead say that marriage makes you holy. Well, how does it make you holy? BECAUSE IT’S HARD. =)

…and here is what I have learned in my 2 years of marriage: life is hard. There are circumstances outside of our control that can make life even harder. Don’t be the one that makes your marriage hard. There is a reason why God has given us guidelines for living…and shockingly, abiding in Him by following said guidelines, really does make your marriage easier. Because you aren’t the obstacle anymore.

I am the obstacle. I was making life hard – and our marriage hard – because my heart was hard.

What I have come to realize, via the Holy Spirit opening my eyes and convicting me of my sin and also of Christ’s righteousness, is that for the past 2 years (on and off; but, basically our entire marriage), I have spoken, acted, and reacted as dictated by my feelings and thoughts – completely ruled by the circumstances of myself (feelings) and what I thought ought to be true/right. Essentially, I have been operating as thought I am God – not taking any of my feelings or thoughts captive to the mind of Christ…because, well, I didn’t want to. I valued being right over being…righteous.

What I thought or felt were truer, more correct, and more righteous than any one else – especially Dan. For a long while now, I have been suffering from the Yabbit disease.  You don’t know the Yabbit disease? Sure you do: it’s when you respond to anyone, in any situation/conversation with this phrase, “Yeah, BUT….” 

It’s an extremely arrogant response. You are essentially admitting what the person has said is true – but you don’t want to accept that truth. Yes, they may be right – but you are rejecting it. …What makes it even more arrogant is that you are doing it right to their face, without even considering, pondering, or letting their thought/idea/comment sit for a while.

Yabbit’s disease was taking over my life.  In fact, I was a walking Yabbit. [Note: not the same as a wasically wabbit.]  It came to a head when my parents were here helping us move in. I was stressed, trying to take care of everything, yet asking for help and then completely shutting down any suggestions or offers. My dad called me on it. Called to the carpet, I cried…for about 30 minutes straight, completely ashamed that this is who I had become. It certainly wasn’t who I wanted to be.

Shortly thereafter, I began a nine-day prayer commitment (novena) to the Holy Spirit. Each day focused on a different spiritual fruit, and I realized just how far I was from exhibiting any of these fruits in my life. If I were plant, I would have been completely shriveled. One that I probably would have thrown out (I’m not too good with plants – and when they start looking dead, I give them more attention – but it’s often too late). I think that is why I tend to get ‘scared’ when I realize just how far I am from ‘where I should be’ spiritually. I am afraid that God will take one look at poor, shriveled up Jessica, and say, “Well, I tried. Throw her out and onto the next one.”

Thank you, Jesus, that you are not a gardener like me! Thank you that you are faithful to work the soil of our heart, to prune, and to nurture life. It’s so funny to me because at the times when I am most apparent of my sin and feel farthest from God – it is not God that is far from me. I am the one strong-arming Him – believing that He has no interest in a worthless subject like me.

As I examined what thoughts had led me here, I believe that part of my downfall started here: I believed that my sacrifice in this marriage was greater than his. I became very concerned with “justice,” “equality,” “fairness” – tit for tat. I think, subconsciously, I wanted to ensure that he, too would know sacrifice – that he would pay for it. At various times, over the last 2 years, I have recognized that I am just not respectful like I think I should be; or very kind or gentle…but I haven’t known how to stop. …and after the Novena, and spending time in reflection…I saw that my actions were causing me to lose the joy of my husband.

Part of the problem was also the fact that I started viewing God as my boss – and not as who He is. I viewed God as one concerned about my output and not WHO I am; that he was keeping track of whether or not I was doing things…but not concerned with my response or me. Since I was no longer seeking the fellowship of God, I became even more reliant upon Dan to supply what only God can…which, again, leads to unhappiness in the marriage. Dan feels like he can’t measure up – and it’s because he can’t. He’s not God; the problem isn’t Dan, though; it’s ME. I am the one putting him into positions of power and expectations that he isn’t designed to meet.

So, what is different with this recognition? I am committed to NOT letting sin rule in my body, mind or words. Part of my struggle the last 2 years, when I have noticed that I am not respectful, gentle, kind, etc. – is that I haven’t recognized that I have the power to reject sin. I felt like I was just waffling between sin or righteousness (and that sin was winning). As I read Ephesians 2, a couple of weeks ago, I was just so encouraged by this fact: we have been MADE ALIVE with Christ, even when I was dead in trespasses and sins.

I was just so encouraged and moved by that reminder. I wrote this shortly thereafter:

I have been MADE ALIVE with Christ. Sin does NOT need to reign in my body, mind or words. I have been MADE ALIVE WITH Christ. He has spoken life into me. His life IS my life. His heart is my heart. Until I live like He did, I will feel discord. in order to feel alive, I must live as He did. First, and foremost, I must spend time alone praying and communing with Him.

…the tricky thing about the Truth setting you free is that you must first submit to it.

LMN…Lessons on Marriage (me) via Novenas

 

When I set out on this alphabetical journey I had planned that my “Ls” would be “Lenten Lessons” – because for the first time in YEARS I gave something up for Lent. (Normally, I take the Lazy route and say that I will add things to my routine – that I am usually already doing or trying to do.) Not so, this year! I gave up COFFEE. If you know me, you know that I love my coffee – and I always love it in the morning and sometimes in the afternoon! It was a struggle, but I learned a lot. Namely, that I can do hard things.

[Okay, well, this looks like it’s turning into a post on my Lenten lessons – let’s go with it.]

I can do hard things.

I hate doing hard things. In fact, just yesterday, my mom and I had a conversation where she remarked, “Yeah, you hate doing things that are hard for you.”

I do.

But, come on, folks, who out there really loves challenging yourself? If you had your druthers, would you choose the challenge? If so, congratulations! You are a far higher individual than I.

So, willingly giving up coffee – something that I don’t just love, but kind of depend upon – wasn’t easy. When I told Dan what I was giving up, he responded with, “YOU – are giving up COFFEE?” Like Jessica is synonymous with coffee. So, when I heard that, there was that little voice that said, “Well, I suppose I could just say I am going to have a consistent quiet time…” and then the voice of resolve (which is stronger and louder, because it is resolved) said, “NO. You are going to DO this.”

Are any of you scared to do things? I totally am…and yet, I am also scared of not doing things. The fact that I was so comfortable in my laziness was starting to scare me. I was becoming really good at justifying reasons for not doing things; for not exercising discipline; for avoiding all manner of hard things. I was becoming so good at this – that I became the hard thing.

Whatever can you mean, Jessica? I became my greatest obstacle. The obstacle wasn’t the “doing” – it wasn’t the coffee (though, I do just love the taste of it! …so, I did allow myself decaf on Sundays)…it was me. The challenge was not just listening to the voice of God, but then believing Him, trusting Him, and relying upon Him.

I was in my own way to live the life I desire – to be the best version of myself (Catholic-ese for holiness).

This is really the perfect segue for the M & N discussions…so, stay tuned.

Q …more than we can ask or imagine

[I realize that it’s been more than a month since I last posted – and that the letter I left off on was I. I’ll get to those posts – SOON! And maybe even one of those posts that begins with a letter before Q will include pictures of our new house!]

Why, Jessica, are you getting back on the bandwagon and starting with the letter Q?

Today, Dan headed to Q country to serve as a livestock consultant on a project that the U of A is coordinating for that nation.

 

If that line surprised you, well, both of us were equally surprised when Dan received a call on Tuesday (yes, of this past week!), asking him if he had a current passport and would be interested in serving as a sheep and goat consultant on an international project. After saying, “Sure.” He found out that the trip was scheduled to leave on SATURDAY. Needless to say, our last few days have been busy prepping for his journey. After agreeing to be on the project, he soon found out that he is not just the sheep & goat consultant, but will be consulting on ALL the animals they want on the farm: dairy cattle, beef cattle, sheep, goats, chickens, CAMELS, PIGEONS, RABBITS….

I have far more backstory to share about how (I believe) all of this came about – and it all has to do with a Novena.

This morning, as I was searching for some appropriate prayers to send off Dan, I came across a Novena to St. Isidore. Saint Isidore is the patron saint of farmers. Since the aim of this project is to develop a model farm that the nation could use to educate farmers – and thus, increase the country’s subsistence – I feel that this is a very appropriate prayer for Dan while he is away. I am sharing this on the blog to invite you to pray the Novena (nine-day prayer) with me.

Day 1: Partnership with God (Read Genesis 1:25 and 2:15)

Lord, through the intercession of Blessed Isidore, farmer and confessor, not let us be vain with the wisdom of the world, but by his merits and example, let us in all humility always do what is pleasing to You. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Followed by the Prayer of St. Isidore:

O God, who taught Adam the simple art of tilling the soil, and who through Jesus Christ, the true vine, revealed Yourself the husbandman of our souls, deign, we pray, through the merits of Blessed Isidore, to instill into our hearts a horror of sin and a love of prayer, so that, working the soil in the sweat of our brow, we may enjoy eternal happiness in heaven. Through the same Christ our Lord, Amen.

Followed by the Our Father (Lord’s Prayer), Hail Mary and Glory Be.

Day 2: Family Life in Christ (Psalm 26:4 – 5)

We offer the sacrifice of praise, O Lord and humbly pray that through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin, Mother of God and of St. Joseph, You may establish our families in peace and grace. Through the same Christ our Lord, Amen.

Follow with the Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Day 3: Love of Neighbor (Romans 12: 9 – 12)

O God, You who make all things work together for good for those who love You, give to our hearts an abiding love for You: so that the desires we conceive by Your inspiration may ever remain unchanged in spite of every temptation. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be

Day 4: Dignity of Work (2 Thessalonians 3:8-12)

O Lord, let us follow the blessed farmer Isidore’s example of patience and humility, and walk so faithfully in his footsteps that by his intercession in the evening of life, we can offer You a rich harvest of merits and good works. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

(Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be)

Day 5: Walking in the Presence of God (1Timothy 4:15 – 16)

Breathe into our hearts, we beseech You, O Lord, a desire for heavenly glory, and grant that we may pass, bearing in our hands, the sheaves of justice, to where the Blessed Isidore is resplendent with You in glory. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

(Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be)

Day 6: Stewardship of the Soil (James 5:7-10)

Pour down Your blessing, we beseech You, O Lord, upon Your people, and upon all the fruits of the earth, so that when collected, they may be mercifully distributed to the honor and glory of Your holy name. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

(Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be)

Day 7: Rural Works of Mercy (Matthew 6:19 – 20)

May the grace of the Holy Spirit, we beseech You, O Lord, enlighten our hearts, and refresh them abundantly with the sweetness of perfect charity. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

(Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be)

Day 8: Trust in Prayer (Philippians 4:4-7)

O Lord Jesus Christ, Who has said: Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you; grant, we beseech You, to us Your supplicants, the gift of Your most divine love, so that we may love You with our whole heart and in all our words and works, and never cease praising You: who live and reign, world without end. Amen.

(Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be)

Day 9: Sacrifice of Praise (Hebrews 10:12 – 14)

Protect us, O Lord, who offer sacrifices to You, and sear our hearts with the flame of Your divine charity, so that they may be ever more fervently prepared for sacrifice. Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

(Prayer of St. Isidore, Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be)

House

 

…well…the Kieslings have an announcement.

We’re buying a house!

We’ve slowly been working our way toward purchasing a house. In January, we got the ball rolling. By February, we started looking at a few houses. One promising house had a trampoline in the backyard. We gave the ol’ trampoline a test run; my first time jumping on a giant trampoline. It was awesome. The trampoline kinda got us enamored…but, (eventually) we decided to pass.

On March 16, we spent the afternoon looking at houses. We toured one house that just really caught our eye. It just felt…like home…and a bit like a dream house…but without a dream house price tag. The house next door is also on sale. We toured it, too. By the end, Dan said, “Let’s put an offer in.” I agreed.

It was at this point that Dan started to get nervous. I am supposed to be the restraint. The one who says not yet; who is cautious. I am not the one who is supposed to say, “Ok. Sure. Let’s put in an offer.” As we went through all the documents to place the offer, I was fine. (Well, I actually was battling the start of some type of wicked sinus infection, so I wasn’t entirely coherent.)

It was that night that I started to get nervous. Woke up in the middle of the night wondering, “What. have. we. done??” And I started to worry about all of the details and if we could really make this work and if we have just done the craziest thing and well, in general wonder if I am ready for a commitment this big.

Over that week, (let’s mention again that I was sick and on cold meds, so sleeping through the night was made difficult) I woke up in the middle of the night twice. Part of those fears plaguing my mind was this idea that I am officially an adult. One reason we are buying a house is to get ready for a family (no, that announcement is not part of this blog. Mom.). One thing that freaked me out was this vision of the future that is just saving for repair, making repair, saving for repair, making repair…and doing the same thing over. and over. and over.

We ran the numbers for our monthly bills. …we could afford it. I was shocked; I wanted an excuse to not like it; to say no – to turn away from the risk. We talked with our realtor and lender, again and expressed our concerns. They provided us with more information. Our fears (my fears, really) were eased. I finally felt like I could like it.

Through this process, I realized some things about myself: I am really cautious. I will keep myself from liking something until it’s been approved and okay. I did that with Dan; I did that with the house. I’m pretty happy with Dan, so I think the house will end up being a keeper.

Today, the loan was approved. Tomorrow, we are setting the date for the signing. In a week, we’ll be painting, prepping, and moving…

Wow.

Grown-ups.

The G is silent

 

To sin by silence when they should speak makes cowards of great men.    ~Abraham Lincoln

I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.                                        ~Elie Wiesel

 

You may or may not have heard for the Kermit Gosnell case. The media has had little to say about one of the more gruesome cases in history. He and his staff performed late term abortions, which in certain cases resulted in live births. These babies were then viciously murdered by severing their spinal cord. For more information, look here: http://solofemininity.blogs.com/posts/2013/04/the-gosnell-tragedy.html (Links from this piece to articles from many other sources)

http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2013/04/10/philadelphia-abortion-clinic-horror-column/2072577/

http://thepracticingcatholic.com/2013/04/13/the-k-word-i-just-cant-shake/

If I were to be completely honest, I’d prefer the ease of ignoring this exists, that there would be such horrors happening today. Yet, one look at this past week’s events tells us that we cannot ignore that evil exists. And, though we may prefer to avoid conflict and remain ‘neutral', it is impossible. Where and when we can, we must defend the voiceless, the hapless. There are times when we must speak.

 

The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty of the bad people, but the silence over that by the good people.                                                                             ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the End, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.       ~Martin Luther king, Jr.

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.                                                                    ~Harvey Fierstein

F is for Father

 

Again today, I need to shout-out to The Practicing Catholic (my friend/former colleague’s blog) for inspiration. Lisa wrote about Pat Gohn’s newest book, “Blessed, Beautiful, Bodacious: Celebrating the Gift of Catholic Womanhood.” Pat discussed what it means to be a daughter, the gift of fathers, and the gift of being a daughter of The Father. It’s a great 10 minute listen.

Have you listened? Great. Here are the items that stood out to me:

A beloved daughter knows she has been chosen, is highly regarded, and much loved. It is a deep blessing to trust a parents’ love. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, parental love has a deep impact on how someone will respond to the love of God the Father. Parents are the first representative of God for man. Though human parents are fallible, God is the origin of human mothers and fathers, yet transcends them.

I have been blessed to have great parents. I have been really blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my dad. Since college, people have commented on the relationship my dad and I have. I trust him. I look to him for wise counsel, for a good laugh, for encouragement – to protect, to provide. I know that when I call him and ask for his take on a situation, he will be honest and fair, judicious and discerning of the situation. I love my dad. I love making him laugh when I say witty things. I love the way he says “Hey there, kiddo!” when I call on the phone.

I love making him proud. The other day on Facebook, he shared my “day C” post, stating “From my daughter, in whom I am well pleased.” Even two-thousand miles away, that man knows how to make me feel loved.

Is my dad perfect? Of course not; he isn’t God. But the way that my dad built a relationship with me definitely has influenced, and led me into a relationship with God, my Father. I have always felt that when my heart is troubled and I am in need of answers that I could turn to my dad. In middle school, I was troubled by a lot of “what if” questions. By nature, I’m an anxious soul. My dad is, by nature, a night owl. His office was in the basement; so was my bedroom. I’d lie awake unable to sleep and would walk into the office and pose my questions. He would consider; he would answer. I don’t recall that he ever said, “That’s stupid, Jessica. Go to bed.” He was patient. He took time. …and I learned that I mattered; that my concerns were his; that I could trust him with my heart, my soul, my deep anxieties. This made it much easier to transition into a relationship that trusted God the Father.

One of the most profound ways that my dad spoke truth to my heart was my freshmen year of college. You know that moment in college where you are trying to find your place? You are ‘trying on’ different ways of living…and I was flailing. I bought into the deception that partying every weekend was the epitome of college of life, and chasing after boys would eventually lead to love. My dad sent me a letter one weekend in February, thanking me for coming home that weekend to stay with my brother. Then, he expressed some concerns that he had for me, as a father, knowing that most college guys have anything but honorable intentions. The line I remember distinctly is that he treasures that light that I bring to life – and “that light is catching, so don’t put it out.”

A well timed letter that reminded me who I am, the worth I possess, and to the purpose I am called. I have often wondered how I could be such a strong-willed woman, able to know unwaveringly who I am, whose I am, and what that means to my daily life. I realize now that so much of that is due to the influence of my dad.

How did he do it? I’m not even sure if he knows. By the grace of God may be the only answer that comes close.  We know that the will of the Father is to draw all to Himself, that all may know Him and relate to Him.  How generous of Him to use fathers to accomplish this.

Thanks, Dad. All my love, always.

Ddddddd-Dan

Well, today's post is dedicated to the letter D, and the best D I know, is my D: Daniel Dean.

In 13 days, it will have been FIVE. YEARS. since Dan and I first met. FIVE. YEARS. It's so strange that it feels impossible that it has been that long - and, yet, like we have known each other for always.

You know?

When I first met Dan, I was interested. I loved talking to him; it was such a great conversation. I loved that he was ambitious; he had an actual vision and desire of what he wanted his life to look like. When we met, he asked me out right away. I loved his decisiveness. He was the antithesis of many of the guys I knew/had been interested in.

It wasn’t love at first sight. I mean, come on, it is me. No one has cautious and conscientious as me can be in love right away and be okay with it. …and Dan, well, he’s sorta similar to me. He wasn’t ready to cash it all in right away either.  God needed to work on things within each of us. For me, I needed to love God more than any other – and be willing to be honest and real – loving what God thought/desired more than I wanted the other person to love and desire me.

…and now, 5 years later, I can unabashedly say I love him whenever I want. He completes me. I know; Jerry Maguire made that line cliché, but it's true. He and I are good complements to each other, and were exactly what the other needed. In many ways, Dan and I are very similar. We have similar priorities, values, and interests.

Our senses of humor are spot on. That man makes me laugh and smile when I desparately need to laugh. Let me give you an example: on Sunday, we were watching the news. There is a man in Tucson running for 48 hours straight (a running marathon – but not “running a marathon”) to raise some money for a charity. Dan started thinking of alternatives way to make this work. His solution: “I would run 30 minutes a day for 96 days.”

He said this and several things ran through my head at once: 1) WOW! He’s fast with the math skills. 2) “You know, regular people would just call that a ‘work-out routine.’” A marathon to Dan is a normal running schedule to the rest of the world.

…and I love that I can say that, and he will laugh. Every time. He lets me be funny and come up with quips. I love that. And then, I immediately think as I laugh, how much I love him.

I am too serious. I need someone to lighten me up. He does that.

Case in point, tonight, he surprised me with a 6-pack of Blue Moon and some pretzel M&Ms. Two splurges that help me relax – but I would never buy for myself.

Thanks, Babe, for knowing me and loving me better than I love myself.