Developing Your Mission Statement

Earlier this summer, I led my colleagues through a reflection on the past semester, and imagining the one to come.

Before we began, I had my colleagues read this article by Greg McKeown: http://changethis.com/manifesto/117.04.Essentialism/pdf/117.04.Essentialism.pdf 

I was really challenged by Mr. McKeown's emphasis on all the things we do in life to be busy, thinking that busyness will fulfill us. Yet, we move farther and farther away from the things that breathe life into our work - and thus, us. If doing [working] is a human right, shouldn't we find more of ourselves in that act?

In particular, Mr. McKeown defined the word priority. It meant ONE. ONE thing or action. WE have made the word plural - and in the process, have probably made more trouble for ourselves. How do we find focus or meaning in the doing - if all of our doing is running around after 5-10 different things?

In my work, I have 2 particular titles. In the 2013-14 academic year, I had even more responsibilities that extended beyond my 2 distinct titles. ...and I was exhausted. I couldn't find the singular purpose, the unifying thread - I just felt at the mercy of so many others pulling on my various strings.

Until our activity. I asked my colleagues to reflect on the following:
1) What do you love about your job?
2) What are the best things you do (in your job)?
3) How do you feel about the past semester?
4) What are your feelings about the upcoming semester?
5)  What one thing do you want to do, which could create a more fulfilling work life?
6) What is the priority for your position?

As a result of our activity, I was able to focus on the one priority for my positions - and it is below.

Furtive Friday

I chose the title because the lesson that I am ruminating today just snuck up on me. I wasn't expecting it, it just was there in the middle of my morning drive musings. Plus, I like alliteration, so, Furtive Friday it is.

I was musing on this morning's Gospel lesson. I'll admit this particular passage has always been a bit of a boggler for me. I can assent to the information, but as far as really "getting it" - no go. I have always left this one thinking that I could open up my arms and touch it - but the actual truth was like a giant balloon filling up a house, and I could only touch a small portion, but never get my arms around it. It was just filling up more and more - ready to burst the seams.

Gospel Luke 5:33-39

The scribes and Pharisees said to Jesus,
“The disciples of John the Baptist fast often and offer prayers,
and the disciples of the Pharisees do the same;
but yours eat and drink.”
Jesus answered them, “Can you make the wedding guests fast
while the bridegroom is with them?
But the days will come, and when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
then they will fast in those days.”
And he also told them a parable.
“No one tears a piece from a new cloak to patch an old one.
Otherwise, he will tear the new
and the piece from it will not match the old cloak.
Likewise, no one pours new wine into old wineskins.
Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins,
and it will be spilled, and the skins will be ruined.
Rather, new wine must be poured into fresh wineskins.
And no one who has been drinking old wine desires new,
for he says, ‘The old is good.’”

 

 

As the lesson was read, and re-read...my thoughts drifted to my life - and the lives of my friends. The lesson, for me, centered on the desires of my heart - of my life. This week, it seems there were some babies born, and there were a lot friends' babes starting new adventures at school, many for the first time. And, I have longed for that season to start in my life. (just like I longed for the season of marriage to start in my life, a few moons ago)

 

I really struggle with covetous comparisons. I want a different life; I want to be a mom. But, to take my friends' lives or struggles and try to put that onto my own - would mirror exactly what Jesus talks about here. It would be Ludacris. (Blogger keeps changing the spelling to be the rapper's name.)

 

It does not match. To take on theirs would cause the wine to spill - or completely ruin the garment.  I cannot take on my friends' experiences or lives; I can only take on mine. Our lives are seasons, and some are longer than others; some changes are subtle - like moving from Arizona summer to Arizona fall. Some are sudden and dramatic - like a Halloween ice storm ushering in an early winter. But, they all come in due time for each of us. When it is time to embrace the new skin, the old will fade - and the new will come.

 

I am reminded of these to verses: "God makes everything beautiful in its time;" and "Behold, I am making all things new."

 

Amen. Let it be so.

 

 

Wisdom Wednesday: Rainbows

A couple weeks ago, I had a pretty awful Thursday. It felt like an R. In the academic world, Thursdays are abbreviated to "R" on class schedules [confounding many a freshman]. That Thursday was a double R - rejection thuRsday. It was one of those days where I was ready to throw in the towel on...everything.

Isn't that how it goes? When one thing goes wrong, everything goes wrong? When it rains, it pours - as the idiom goes?

Friday morning, I got up; got on my knees and asked God for some encouragement. Something - a little glimmer of hope - to keep on, keepin' on.

One glimmer of hope: this message from the homily at church: When things seem darkest, wait 3 days - and prepare to be amazed.

The second:

As we were driving home, we drove through rain. But, the sun was shining - and I knew, that a rainbow must be forming. ...and then, I caught a glimpse of it over by the mountains. ...and then, it became a clear, full rainbow (sorry, I don't have a panorama function) - with the slightest hint of the double beyond.

My first reminder was of God's faithfulness. The second thought was this: Without rain, we cannot have a rainbow.

Rainy days can get us down (unless you live in the desert)...but rain is necessary to bring about life. We will experience trials, rejection, strife, suffering and pain. But these, too, can bring life. These circumstances do not have to be absent of hope, if we lean into them, allow ourselves to be taught through them, healed through them (in some cases)...and in that life can spring forth. Hope can arise. Healing can come. A greater glory can be achieved.

Motivational Monday: HOPE

The first 7 months of 2014 have officially come to a close - and we are quickly closing month 8.
Is your life where you hoped it would be? Did you “work your plan” from your resolutions?

Currently, our life is beyond where I would have hoped that we would be in 2014. I really could not have imagined what has taken place in our lives in the last three months. …and these changes have filled me with HOPE.

Do you ever feel like hope is lacking in your life? Like, you should feel hopeful about the future – but you don’t?

That’s where I was for the first 5 months of the year. I didn’t feel that way all of the time; but, in the deep recesses of my heart – there was this lurking question: Is this it? Is this the best? Am I really living the life that I was called to?

After getting sick in April [and no, no leads on what caused it] [for those new to the blog – you can check this out here], I went to see my accupuncturist [yes, I’ve become a hippie]. I told her about getting sick, trying to not make it a big deal (which is what I do), and she said, “So, are you under a lot of stress?”
…and I thought, “umm…I guess?”

Then, I started looking at my life and my work and how I really felt – and the answer was YES. I didn’t really feel like myself anymore. I didn’t feel this way because I felt powerless to effect any good change in my life. I felt locked in to the current circumstances. I felt that anything I tried to do to make my life healthier didn’t pan out. Discouragement will quickly dry up hope.

To be discouraged, to be without hope – without enthusiasm or sunshine – well, that just wasn’t me. While it seems my E/I and J/P are flexible, there is no doubt that my Myers-Briggs letters are NF. NFs live in the possibility of what can be: we live in hope. So, when an NF is without hope, life is dark.

A month ago, while walking down my hallway at work, it suddenly hit me: my life is full of hope again.  Losing weight – and gaining health – is about so much more than a scale, or measurements, or the size of my clothes. Those tangible things are exciting. Those tangibles are measurements of success and very important to keep pressing forward. But, the greatest gift that I have gained by joining this program is hope.

What is more: I am starting the semester today with renewed joy and enthusiasm! I am excited for the year ahead - not exhausted! This is a much different place than I have been the last few semesters.

What is greatest, though, is that now, as a health coach, I can share the gift of hope with others! THAT fills me with just as much as hope (joy and excitement) as my own success! When I look back to 4 months ago, I am amazed at how different my life is – and how much healthier I feel. I am so thankful that my mom encouraged me to do this program. I am so thankful. I know that we are doing good for us, and are making decisions with life in the focus.

There are four months left in 2014. That’s enough time to start making those changes you want to see in your life!

Colorado Trip Recap

For our summer vacation, we took a trip to Colorado the first week of August!

We went to Colorado because Dan was judging the Sheep and Goat Shows at the Logan County Fair. Prior to the Fair, we visited the Colorado Springs Urgent Care (sinus infection), Manitou Springs Cliff Dwelling (go to the real thing: Mesa Verde - or I hear we have a few in Arizona); Rocky Mountain National Park.

This was our first time to Rocky Mountain National Park. We loved it! We would love to go back with either/both of our families and spend some time in Estes Park to spend a few days (not a few hours) there. At the Park/on the way there, we saw a herd of elk, 4 bull elk, 3 big horn sheep, 1 gopher (?) sprawled out on the road...and a dead baby skunk.

Besides RMNP, my favorite part was being in Sterling/drive back to CO-SP. Why? ...prairie.
I just love the prairie. I had forgotten what rural farm towns smell like on a summer night after a rain. I love the rolling hills and the yellow-green grass spotted with farmhouses and fields. It felt like "home."
[Oh yeah - and we got to see our friend Megan and meet her mom & kids! Dan & Megan were in grad school together; Megan had been the Extension Agent in Sterling for 5 years and was the reason we came to Colorado! That was such a treat! Miss them!]

Time for some pictures:

Outtakes trying to get the "perfect" couple shot

The views around 12,000 feet - it's a tundra!

Senior picture time! :)

 After the Fair, we headed back to Colorado Springs. We visited the Air Force Academy and Garden of the Gods before boarding the plane home.

GoG

Storm rollin' into Colo Sp!

Air Force chapel and grounds

Blahhhhnormallifemehhh

My friend Paige used the above phrase in her post today, as she is settling into her normal life after an awesome vacation. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!  (and I am so passionate about it that I used all caps!)

The thing is school starts on August 25, which means after today, I have 6 work days to be ready for the onslaught. And like, 1 of those days is just devoted to an all-day training, so I have really only FIVE work days to get ready. ...and all I wanna-do-is-zooma-zoom-zoom-anda-boom-boom!

...and by that I mean: I just want to read Harry Potter and dream about being at the Iowa State Fair and eating Pork-Chops-On-A-Stick...and be anywhere but my chair, staring at a computer screen.

Oh.
My.

Please...please...

Find my motivation and send it to me.
Or at least a good Pandora station that will make me want to shake my rump. into action.

For sticking around: here's some fun insight into Dan & Jessica conversations:

 

Walking on our way to our buildings this morning:

Dan (talking about essays he had written in high school): Sometimes, I would use Garth Brooks quotes in my essays for tests. Like in 'American Experience,' which was a combination English/American History/social studies class, when we writing about Black History Month -

 

Jessica (interrupting): You quoted, "We Shall Be Free."

 

Dan: Yeah. and it was awesome. I knew it would get me points.

 

Jessica: You know, I would have used it because I believed it.

There you have it: Dan, the pragmatist. Jessica, the idealist.

 

For what it's worth.....

Pinterest-worthy House Tour

So, about 2.5 months ago I posted on Facebook that I love hosting college girls at our house because they love how "Pinterest-worthy" our house is. Yes, it is definitely pin-spired, which makes it especially pinteresting. My friends immediately commented that they wanted pictures. ...and I have never provided them.

Last week, we hosted our Core Group from Marriage Encounter. With the house all cleaned up, I decided I should take some pictures. I am not showing you the entire house...I've got to keep some suspense up.

Here is our "formal" living room.

Next up - the guest room. (and sorry about the angle)

Master bedroom!

Again - sorry about the angle. My dad "built" this for us when they were visiting in May. It's a pallet, sprayed with a clear coat, and hooks added.

Eventually that "Love" quilt will be hanging on the left side of the bed/headboard. 

This was the mantle at Easter.

...and finally the Pool:

Transformation Tuesday: Weight Loss Journey

I have been on and off diets for 23 years – and I’m only 34. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, Herbalife, South Beach, LA Weight Loss – modifications of all…with success. But, as you can see, fall into the same cycle of loss and gain. A few years ago, I lost about 20 pounds, and maintained it pretty well for about 2.5 years – and then, I got married. J

In 3 years of marriage, I gained about 25 pounds.  In the past year, I had so little energy when I would get home at night; I was exhausted from sitting all day. I felt hopeless. I felt like I was a special case – exempt from being able to lose weight. It wasn’t like I hadn’t tried in those 3 years! One of my co-workers often said, “Jessica, you eat healthier than I do!” [which only made it more frustrating] I tried working out 2-3 times/week…but, still, the weight piled on.

Frustrated, I poured out my heart to my mom when they were visiting in mid-May. She suggested the program that she & my dad had great success with a couple of years ago. I was skeptical – after all, my body wouldn’t lose weight! But, I was also willing to check it out because something had to change – and fast!

On June 9, I started the program. My goal is to lose 40 pounds. After 5 weeks on program, I have lost 17 pounds and 19 inches – which means I am over 40% of the way there! [typical weight loss is 2-5 pounds/week] Most surprising, my energy has rebounded. I have energy consistently throughout the day and at night. One of the best aspects of this program is that I work with a personal health coach to encourage and support me along the journey - and beyond.

Results vary. Clients can expect to lose 2-5 lbs the first 2 weeks, and 1-2 lbs each week thereafter.

After two weeks on program, I decided that I want to help others achieve optimum health and freedom from the scale.  So, I am now a health coach! (and Dan is my first client – and yes, he entered willingly). [Dan has lost 11 pounds in 4 weeks.] I realize that weight loss is the first step – not the only step. I am really excited for what the future holds for our family as we work daily to be healthy and thrive, not just survive.

If you are interested in hearing more, please comment below and leave your email address so that I can contact you. 

Parable of the Sower - Like I'd Never Heard It Before

The Parable of the Sower, Matthew 13:1-23, is one of those parables I've heard so many times that I think I know what it means. Yesterday at Mass, Fr. Jacek Buda opened my eyes to a new understanding of this parable, in one of those 'light bulb moments' that shed so much light, you wonder at the new images before your eyes.

First, the parable:

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.
Such large crowds gathered around him
that he got into a boat and sat down,
and the whole crowd stood along the shore.
And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying:
“A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

The disciples approached him and said,
“Why do you speak to them in parables?”
He said to them in reply,
“Because knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven
has been granted to you, but to them it has not been granted.
To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich;
from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
This is why I speak to them in parables, because
they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.
Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says:
You shall indeed hear but not understand,
you shall indeed look but never see.
Gross is the heart of this people,
they will hardly hear with their ears,
they have closed their eyes,
lest they see with their eyes
and hear with their ears
and understand with their hearts and be converted,
and I heal them.

“But blessed are your eyes, because they see,
and your ears, because they hear.
Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people
longed to see what you see but did not see it,
and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

“Hear then the parable of the sower.
The seed sown on the path is the one
who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it,
and the evil one comes and steals away
what was sown in his heart.
The seed sown on rocky ground
is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.
But he has no root and lasts only for a time.
When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word,
he immediately falls away.
The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word,
but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word
and it bears no fruit.
But the seed sown on rich soil
is the one who hears the word and understands it,
who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.”

It's widely understood that the soil is us. Father Jacek asked us, "What is the seed?" Then, he described a time when he and several other Dominican preachers were discussing this passage, and attempting to answer this very question.

My answer: Faith.

Their answers: knowledge...no; good works...no; faith...no.

The key, he said, was the mysteries of the Kingdom; what is the mystery of the Kingdom?
God's Love. [Now as I read Jesus' explanation to his disciples, I see "the word." Who is the Word? Jesus. ...and what does He represent? God's Love.] How do we know it's God's Love: because this parable describes a response to an action. Any action of love requisites a response.

The casting of the seed - describes the nature of God's Love. "A sower went out to sow;" God went out to love, and He cast His love everywhere, for all people - but people reacted differently. How did the people react to the love?
1) The path: those who take the love for granted - and thus, throw it away
2) The rocky soil: those who respond with great enthusiasm, but never were transformed, and thus never made a commitment (roots)
3) The thorns: those who respond out of duty - and thus, miss out on the joy
4) The fertile soil: those who respond in love - who give their whole self as a response to the gift of love. For that is what love is: a response by giving your total self to the other.

Love leads to life.  This is the crux of Catholic teaching; thus, it makes sense that the seed is love - and that an act of love would bear fruit - life.

In our Marriage Encounter Core meeting, Father Charlie presented us with another application:
Love listens. 

I could ask the question, "How do you love?" And we might say, "Oh, pretty good. Not perfect, but not that bad." Because "love" is very subjective (in 301, it's a "Level 4" word). But, how do we listen? How do we respond to others?

This is far easier to answer...and far more convicting. Am I listening for the problem? Am I listening to respond? Am I listening to defend? ...what would it look like to listen out of love? What would it look like to listen with love? Am I listening to my beloved?

Those who have ears, let them hear.

NOW: go read my friend's post and see if you can catch the connection between these 2 topics. Only love can grow exponentially and reap a harvest of 30-60-100 times greater than what was planted.

Mind. BLOWN.

Three Years In

Let's get this out right away: Marriage is, hands-down, the hardest thing I have ever done.

Do people tell you this before you get married?  Maybe. But I think it's either 1) sugar-coated as "marriage makes you holy" or 2) we're too "drunk in love" to acknowledge those people are telling us the truth and instead think, "Um, okay...you obviously don't love your spouse like I love this guy, because that's just not going to be our story."

Without deeper inspection, I wouldn't think marriage has made me holier. I think marriage has brought out my angry, selfish, control-freak side. If I was comparing my life as a single person to now, I think I'd say I was holier then. But, that would mean I was less aware of the afore-mentioned side. I thought I was doin' all right - and now was being rewarded with marriage. But, if holier means more aware of my sins, faults, and short-comings, then, yes: the last 3 years have achieved this. And, if this awareness causes me to recognize my need for the Lord's grace, mercy and saving power - then, yes, perhaps the refining fire of marriage is making me holier.

It seems that many people on their anniversary say things like, "here's to another 365 days of bliss!" My reaction is often, "Really?" Let's be honest, after getting married and moving 2000 miles from my beloved family & friends: I need some realness about marriage. Maybe others learn this lesson quickly; while dating, or engaged perhaps. ...or maybe nobody wants to talk about it. ...or maybe not every person who gets married endures the amount of stressors in such a short period of time. [and maybe each couple hits their stressors at different points/seasons of life]

Three-and-a-half years ago, when Dan and I got engaged, a co-worker told me that I was taking on, like, 5 of 10 the most-stressful life events all at once. I blew her off - because with God at my side - stress is nothing! In hindsight, yes, those stressful life events took a toll on me. Moving so far away changed me; becoming Catholic changed me; marriage has changed me. ...and while it hasn't been all sunshine & roses (though, a lot of it has been sunshine - we live in Arizona, after all) - this opportunity to leave, to cling, to learn, to become aware of myself & my "self under stress" - well, it is for the better.

How do I know? Because I know that my God promises that all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). And, I know that I was called into a sacramental marriage by Him who established a covenant relationship with me. So, the stress that we have endured in the last 3 years (and heck, the last 6 weeks!) will only make us better - for each other, and for our purposes and good works.

Before I close, let me give a huge, loving shout-out to my husband. He didn't know "Jessica under stress" when we got married; and, he has been the best. He loves me well because he makes me stop taking myself so seriously. He makes me laugh when I want to be mad - or sad. He just loves; and, I just am so humbled by his love for me. Dan is the best for me. And, all of those stressors from the last 3 years really have only made our bond of friendship and love stronger.

May God bless us as we continue our journey toward Him, with Him, in Him, through Him.