I have a friend who is needs to know she is forgiven. She can only know this forgiveness by confessing her sin. Her sin is blinding her from Truth; deceiving her; convincing her she is separated from the Love, the Mercy, the Goodness of God.
My heart breaks for her. I, too, have been in her position. I, too, have wondered if I could really be forgiven for so willfully choosing to not believe, to disobey, to deny God. I have wondered if I could ever be brought back from such a place of darkness. The darkness I refer to is that deep darkness in our soul when we believe that we have severed ourselves from Christ because of what we have done.
This is deception. We, though sinners; we, though sinners in the midst of our sin; we, though sinners in the present mire, in the depth of even loving our sin; THIS state of choosing sin over God – THIS was when Christ died for us. At the height of our disobedience, this was when Jesus Christ chose to love us – and demonstrate this love by giving His life for us.
Who could love us when we couldn’t even begin to think about loving? Who could love us while we scream, “We hate you! We want nothing to do with you! Get out of my life! DIE – for all I care!”
Who could do that while enduring the most painful, humiliating, public death – while being mocked? We utterly rejected him and esteemed him not; yet, he LOVED. He gave for us in that very moment. In that very moment, He gave his life for us. In that very moment, He forgave us.
Who could do that but God Himself?
Only Jesus. Only Jesus, the only begotten son; God from God; Light from Light; True God from True God; consubstantial with the Father; through him all things were made; for us men, and for our salvation, He came down from Heaven; by the Holy Spirit, he became incarnate of the virgin Mary, and became man. For our sake and our salvation, He suffered under Pontius Pilate; he was crucified; died; and was buried. On the third day, He rose again. He ascended into Heaven and will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead; and his kingdom will have no end.
Because of Jesus’ work on the cross, sin needs no longer separate us from the love of God in Christ our Lord. When I felt separated from Jesus because of my sin, the only thing that set me free was this word of God. I had so deceived myself that I was “unforgiveable”; my sin too great; because I should have known better, I was a believer for goodness’ sake – my sin too late.
And then, God brought this to my attention:
“For I am convinced that neither death, nor life; nor angels; nor principalities; nor present things; nor future things; nor powers; nor height; nor depth; nor any other creature, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:38-39
And I was struck dumb. Right there it was! NO CREATURE (the version read that day actually read ‘no created thing’). NOT. EVEN. ME. could separate myself from the Love of God in Christ Jesus my Lord. NOT EVEN ME. NOT EVEN my present sin or future sin; that separation has been dissolved through the cross of Christ. Sure, I could choose to deny it; I could choose to reject it – but that would not erase the Truth that the LOVE existed. That love is there for me to embrace. It exists whether or not I assent to it.
So, why – WHY – would I reject the [only] One who could love me so completely and thoroughly…and knowingly aware of all that I am, good and bad, and all that I am not, good and bad?
I could not. I fell on my knees that day enamored and in awe of my Lord, and Savior Jesus Christ understand for the first time the depth of His love that has existed – and will exist – from everlasting to everlasting.