A year ago at this time, I could not fathom referring to myself as a widow.
I hated the word.
I hated the thought that the word now defined me.
I wanted to resist this reality.
So, I did. :) Just like I continue to call Dan my husband because calling him "my late husband" seems like a lie - because I was the late one, he wasn't. :)
The week of my trip to Ireland, I had this dream. I had been singing worship songs with this (Irish) (younger) man, and we had a fantastic connection. After awhile, he said, "So, I see that you have a ring on your finger. Are you married, then?"
"Actually...I'm a widow."
The first time I used that phrase was in a dream and it was the most natural thing in the world to do.
It fits, now. It fits.
And, I used that response to quite a few inquiries while I got to know my group and others on the trip.
Just one of the small ways that God is guiding me, ever so gently, to embrace this new life. It does not happen at all at once. Everything takes time...and there are days where it feels like 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, but the key is that I am being led - and I am being led gently and lovingly. This is the path to healing - trusting our path and our healing to the One who created us.