Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tucson Mantra

"I'm not here for a long time;
I'm here for a good time."

Time in this sense is a bit relative. No, we're not planning on leaving anytime soon, and we're not planning on staying forever... Then again, in this crazy world, who knows? Plans quickly change. So, Mom and Nicole - don't get your hopes up too high. I will still be in Arizona next week. :)

For those who don't know me well or haven't known me since elementary school, I get homesick. I know, it might surprise you. The three times I went to camp - second, fourth and seventh grade - I got homesick. It wasn't so bad as a seventh grader, but I still would have preferred to be home than at camp. I am an interesting extrovert. I do enjoy being by myself; I like alone time...but I like to be near people who know me. I find security in people...in just being near others. So, leaving the people that I loved the most was always hard for me - even if it was for three days. I'm also an interesting cat in that if I can distract myself and focus my energy in the present, I can do quite well. But, if my mind starts to wander, being 'present' is very hard for me to do.

Not having a job has caused me to realize a few things. 1) I would like a job to pay some bills and save some money and feel more comfortable. That one is fairly obvious. 2) I would like a job to introduce me to people. 3) I would like to be part of a community. 4) I want to use my strengths and gifts to pour into others' lives. I didn't realize that I have relied on my jobs to provide me with so many of those opportunities.

Back to the mantra. This past weekend, the roughest bout of homesickness thus far, was pretty eye-opening for Dan. George Strait's new song uses my mantra for the refrain. On Sunday, Dan looked at me and said, "Jessica, how about just living by this? How about recognizing that we're here for a good time?" It really helped me put our life into perspective. Yes, there are so many unknowns; I am living in a new place and experience a lot of 'uncomfortableness' - so far from friends and family, so little exposure to people beside my husband, so much time spent applying and looking and reaping very little; but, it's not forever.

When we are in desert seasons of our lives, it is so easy to look around and see no hope and believe that our present circumstance is our future reality. The truth is, though, this is only passing. Yes, the moment may last longer than we expected or hoped or believed - but it is still passing! The truth is that I have been . given today, this moment and have been asked to be faithful with it - no matter the circumstance. Will I be bitter, forlorn, sad, anxious...or choose to walk by faith? My eyes may not see relief, but I can walk by faith and not by sight. That's what this mantra reminds me to do: walk by faith - and SMILE. Be a blessing...whether you feel like it or not...and you will be blessed.

1 comment:

Farmgirl Chaos said...

I'm praying for ya sister! Keep finding the 'fun' in every situation. :)

Also, I think it's time for a blog redo???